January 2, 2005 Done. I can't believe I just wrote that word. But yes, the novel is done. I've printed it out for Nora to read. And, my god... I just want to grab it and start reading it, making sure there are no little errors at all. Yesterday I left off about 14 pages from the end. To tell you the truth, I was sick of working on it. I wanted to finish it so badly I worked longer on it than I should have. From six in the morning till way after one in the afternoon. And by then I was toast. Wing me out with the burnt ones. That was it for me. But today I got up early again and went at it. I got to the end around 10:00, took a break and came back and checked over two chapters that I slaved over yesterday and was concerned about - just because I lost perspective after a while. It's just too weird being able to hold it. Single spaced, it's just over a hundred pages. But, wow... what a hundred pages it is. My main concern is that I'm going to overwhelm the reader. But I'll worry about that when I get some distance on it. But man... some scenes. I laughed all the way through my shave & shower over one stupid series of events. It just completely cracked me up. But now my little baby's ready for the world. I can't wait for someone to read it. December 31, 2004 The last day of the year. I was up at 6:00 and worked my butt off trying to finish this thing today. I did tons. Got within 14 pages of the end before I was so tired I was shaking and had to rest or die. It would have been wonderful and iconic to finish the book today, the last day of the year. But man, there was no way. How it going? Good. But this last bit I'm working on can be better. The story is well told, but it can sure benefit from a few edits here and there. Some scenes... I tell you... I gotta lie down after reading them. And other scenes get me so wound up or laughing so hard I can't see 'cause the tears are streaming down my face. It's emotionally exhausting, this novel writing business. It wrings you out. And being the friggin author, you gotta read the same scene over twenty million times. For meaning, for word choice, for continuity, for musicality and on and on and on. And then you fix it for two or three purposes and it fucks it up for some other purpose. Aaargh!!! And all over again, you have to read it for all the same reasons, bearing in mind all the different levels. Gad... It's like being engineer, architect, carpenter, interior designer, customer, and customer's hyper-critical drinking buddy all rolled into one. A couple of days, max, before it's done. Happy New Year!!!!! December 29, 2004 Half way through the fifth draft. Had one thing to edit this morning, then started giving it a read. It'll be the same story tomorrow, (hopefully only) one small edit and then finish it off. I absolutely can't wait for someone to read it. Some parts just make me completely squirrelly - just too much to handle. To me, right now, reading the book is like OD-ing on good chocolate. I really resent it when I hit something I have to fix 'cause its so much fun to read. December 24, 2004 Holy god... I might be finished.... Fourth draft done, all the little things that needed to be clarified or cleaned up, done. I started with a little list this morning. A little list of things that were throbbing like nerves. Tough to deal with, incredibly sensitive. And I got through them all. And now... I am completely exhausted. But I get to put the book aside and enjoy Christmas! Next week, I'll give it a read and then print it out for Nora. Gad... I can't friggin wait for someone else to read this thing. Call me a total wuss, but after I was done this morning I had to lay down for an hour. Man... remembering scenes I've lived, over and over for the past five months, the tears were streaming. Tears of gladness, of being ripped up over the main character's tribulations, of pure joy that I've brought something very cool into the world. December 23, 2004 Last chapter of the fourth draft DONE!!! Oh, man... am I ever happy about that. If this were a big garage project, all there'd be nothing left to do but sweep up the sawdust. Then it's open up the big garage door to see what it looks like in the light. What a cool story. Like I said before, I just wish I was twelve and reading this for the first time. Yeah for our side! December 22, 2004 Only one day of writing last weekend, fixing up things and not making any chapter progress. But this morning I did the second draft of the second last chapter. I guess you could call this one chapter away from finishing the fourth draft. Tomorrow I'll finish it. Then back to resolving little things that irk me and one more quick run through before I let anyone read it. God... I'm at this weird push-me/pull-you stage where it's getting so polished I hate to make major changes. It's also the phase where I start getting really nervous because I'm so close to bringing my naked little baby out into the world. If it's got this big honkin wart hanging off it, man... it's all on me. I totally love this story. The trick is getting it to a place where others will love it. But so far, so good. December 12, 2004 Five and a half hours yesterday, seven today. Still two chapters from the end and a small heap of tone and loose thread issues to address. Up to 45,000 words, ten longer than my original target. I tell you, some parts of this book just kill me. Yeah, yeah, I should have been out Christmas shopping today. Tempus fugit. But tempus fugits even faster when you're having fun. My god... this is like the phenomenology of this series of events. Not a summary tale at all. But respecting that the reader wants to be there as long and as intensely as possible - and making it worth their time and effort. Man... some days I wish I was a kid again just so I could read these wacky words I write. Huge fun. Who do writers write for? Themselves? Others? In truth it's a mishmash. Every act of creation is done with a untangle-able blend of "making" and "watching it being made". The watcher is the critic, the reader, the viewer, the audience. I write because it's ten times the fun of just reading. Reading is one rollercoaster. Writing is the act of riding five or six rollercoasters at once. They're all going the same place, but at different times and each time you're in a different seat. November 28, 2004 Finished the hole filling this morning and started on the fourth draft. Got up to the eighth chapter and damn near had to lie down. Not because I was tired. No, a body can only take so much excitement, emotion and insane humor. Yeah, yeah, it's not fair to be writing all this stuff about my own work. No one has read a word of it yet and god knows if it will ever be published. But I'm scribbling this as a reader now. I friggin love this book. Will anyone else? Ha! Don't care. It's just too much fun. November 27, 2004 Well, I'm going around the book with a putty knife and plaster fixing known holes. Began with about a twenty or thirty item list of little things this morning. I just started at the top and worked my way down. I'm more than halfway through after four hours. Holy crap... am I exhausted. Insanely busy during the week, then working Saturday and Sunday mornings on this book. And those two things represent only a half of my time. Gack. When this book is done, I'm taking a huge break. If I don't, you better order up a pine box.   November 21, 2004 Red Letter Day. Finished writing the REAL last chapter. What a huge friggin deal. To complete the story arc in a really satisfying way. Many weeks ago, I got this far and was completely dissatisfied. It was OK, but it wasn't great. So I started again at the beginning with a whole new edit, got close to the end and rocked the house with build up. Well now it's finally done. Done well enough for someone to read and think, yeah, it doesn't suck. Actually its far better than that. I just see the next task ahead, which is plunking in the little changes here and there and going over the whole thing a time or two more. But man.... today is a big deal. You take the journey with your characters. You're embarrassed when you don't do them justice, don't make their lives whole and solid. It's not done until you have the feeling, that, yeah, this is a real person. And today I reached that, right to the end of the book. The rest is monkey work. And pumping the tale up one more level. It completely blows my mind that I'm able to do this. Mid-July, I thought it'd be fun to write a new book. Then ax to the grindstone, blade to the block, day after day, week after week, and Blam! it's done. No stupid whining about how hard it is. No wondering how to do it because you don't have the right tools. Gotta love this act of creation thing. I love being able to do it. I love doing it. And I'm just about completely squirrelly to have someone read it when its done.   November 14, 2004 Last main chapter written thing morning. Over 3000 words. One of those things were you go, Right, got my map, compass and gear. Now all I have to do is Go Straight Up That Cliff!!! But it's done. If I croaked tomorrow, the book's in enough shape that it's readable and enjoyable. I don't know how many times I've said this, but hey, just one chapter left. Many weeks of editing, but just one chapter to write from scratch. I got my cheque from On Spec magazine the other day for "Spring in the Shadows". Still don't know which issue it's going to be in. Oh, and a couple of mini reviews for "The Miller and the Old Hag" in Challenging Destiny #18: http://www.tangentonline.com/reviews/magazine.php3?review=1078 http://www.computercrowsnest.com/sfnews2/04_sept/review0904_13.shtml   November 13, 2004 One chapter, three days straight of writing, and its still 300 words longer than I'd like it to be. It's like being handed somebody else's really cool book, but without a final chapter and being told, "Finish it, make it great, make the end seem completely organic to the whole and don't blow it". In the end - and for most of the process -, I don't give a crap who wrote it, I want to read the finished work. Do I trust that I can do it? Absolutely. This is one of my children. When all the rest is done, it's just a lot of work to do the toes.   November 7, 2004 So much for my idea that I had one chapter left... Oh, well. You gotta take the attitude of "whatever it takes", and plow, stumble, or let the Fates drag you to that unknown end. What a friggin journey, though. I started this dang book in the second week of July. Had the idea, scribbled out the core plot in about twenty minutes and started writing the next day. For two weeks I wrote a chapter or two a day. Then holidays were over and it was back to writing only on weekend mornings. Nearly three drafts and four months later I'm not just editing, I'm still re-plotting, ripping major sections out and replacing them with better ones. And every change, small or large, requires putting on the hat of - what the movie industry calls -, the "continuity guy" and going over the whole book again with a fine toothed comb. What's funny is, this is supposed to be a bus book, a fun adventure thing for kids. ...So much for the illusion that light, fun projects are less work than heavy, dramatic ones. In the end, it's going to exceed the industry standard "genre" limit of 35,000 words. Once more I pitch myself out of the mainstream market. Right now, I'm just taking the attitude that upping the quality is upping the chances, not of it getting published, but of it being enjoyed. After all, I'm not writing for the suits. I'm writing for that handful people that are going to get a few chapters into the book and drop everything else in their life to finish it. And when they get to the last page, are going to say, "Holy crap, was that ever a fun ride..."   November 1, 2004 The book's going great. One chapter left in the third draft. I was completely freaked about tackling the end before all my ducks were in a row with the rest. But I realized I was just being a total chicken and went at it. Turns out, I was a chicken for good reason. The damn thing chewed me up and spat me out. If the book works, it'll do the same for the reader. I'm not going to stop revising till it does. But living that emotional intensity for hour after hour after hour... man... it takes its toll.   October 16, 2004 Halfway through the third draft. I'm happy as a clam. Backed up Four Guys; on Women last Thursday at Leva by the University. Thomas Trofimuk, Kelly Shepherd, Mark Kozub and Mike Gravel. Great evening of poetry. You gotta love it when events are this organized. A completely different vibe from an open stage event. We/They raised over four hundred dollars for the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Alberta.   September 29, 2004 Yeah!!!! Last Saturday, finished the second draft of the book. In my mind, it's actually the completion of the first real draft, since I added two chapters, and they're now done. Last night was the launch of Kill Phil, vol.2 at the Backroom. Yikes, what a strange evening. Members of the AES, you are amateurs, in the worst sense of that word. September 9, 2004 Working the second draft of my as-yet-untitled kids novel. This draft will be done this weekend. It's going great. Received the contract from On Spec for my short story "Spring in the Shadows" today. Holy crap... I'm getting to like this publication thing. August 30, 2004 One chapter left!!!! August 23, 2004 I'm just about finished a new novel. It's a juvenile science fiction/action story. Just got a couple of chapters left in the first draft. Huge fun. I haven't made up my mind yet whether I'm going to write another one of these or go great guns on the sequel to Goober, Booger and the Unreal. I'm nearly finished plotting the latter, but this latest novel (which I started from scratch mid-July) has got me all fired up to blast out another one. Stay tuned. The last two nights of The Raving Poets' Mumbo Jumbo, A Word Circus are on August 24th and 30th. Then comes the new series in September. Stella! Oh, Stella! Check out Ravingpoets.com for details.   August 1, 2004 Great News! I am happy to say that I've got a story in the latest issue of a Canadian sci-fi magazine, Challenging Destiny, which has just gone entirely electronic. The link is here: http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/eBook24310.htm  For lack of a better description, the story is a feminist fairy tale that uses all of the traditional tools of the bedtime story to convey a really, umm... whacked-out concept. The other happy news is that On Spec magazine just let me know they're buying another one of my stories, "Spring in the Shadows". This was my first attempt at writing a dark, 100% Canadian, pull-all-the-stops-out literary short story. They haven't specified which issue it'll appear in.